How Reiki Helped Me Heal After Trauma

How Reiki Helped Me Heal After Trauma

How does Reiki help you heal emotionally from trauma

It has been proven in studies that Reiki can improve multiple variables related to physical and psychological health. Reiki is an energy healing practice that originated in Japan, and is widely used in hospitals as an alternate healing modality. 

When you experience trauma your brain directs your body chemicals and brain functions to go into a state of hyper vigilance to protect you from harm. 

Although your brain is doing it’s job, once these systems are activated it takes work to attune your brain back to a state of peace and relaxation. Until you “reprogram” your brain, your body can stay in this hypervigilant state which can be interpreted as toxic, negative and restrictive energy.  

Reiki Energy Healing is a form of meditation that allows your body to release this restrictive state by encouraging deep relaxation in your heart, mind, body and soul, allowing your body to return back to a neutral or positive energetic state. 

Reiki helps to reduce emotional stress and anxiety in your body by releasing bound energy and allowing it to disperse, resulting in the uplifting of your overall mood and positive mental state.

I personally have felt the amazing benefits of Reiki to reduce the symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress brought on by trauma I endured from abuse, rape and loss of my 9 week old son to SIDS. 

Reiki is commonly done hands-on to assist in the body and mind’s natural healing process in order to help you make strides in healing emotionally and physically. Although, Reiki can also be done online with a Reiki Master helping you focus and guiding you to relax, then to release tension and stress in your body allowing you to heal emotionally. 

It also has the power to give you the ability to cope with day-to-day difficulties in life by increasing your spiritual and emotional well being. 

What exactly happens in a reiki session 

How it works is my client will arrive at my studio for their appointment/session and we will sit down and first discuss what kind of struggles you are currently experiencing in your life today. We will talk about what is causing you anxiety, depression, PTSD, and/or insomnia, as well as any possible physical, mental and emotional illnesses you might have going on too. 

Finally, if you are experiencing issues such as weight loss struggles and wanting to lose weight, experiencing headaches, backaches, overwhelming stress, emotional crisis, as well as any aches and pains you might be enduring in your body then we will discuss those too.

Knowing where you are struggling will guide me in where you may be restricting your energy and what areas will need the most work. It is my goal to release any trapped toxic energy and open up your heart center to allow your healing to occur. 

After we talk I will ask you to lie down on my massage table and take a few deep breaths to help you to begin to relax.

As you begin to relax, I will have slow, calming music playing, candles lit, and you will close your eyes and continue to breathe in and out. I will softly place my hands on your head and for the next twenty to thirty minutes I will gently and calmly help channel the flow of energy within and through your body.

I’ll add here if you would rather not be touched then my hands will remain just above your body (this is also how us Reiki Practitioners are able to do distant Reiki and get the same results as if you were in-person. Reiki does not require actual physical touch although I personally prefer in-person hands-on Reiki Energy Healing…but, that’s just me).

How You will Feel After Your Reiki Session

Once the session is complete, I will ask you to sit up and share your thoughts with me. This happens to be my favorite time of the entire session. I guarantee you will feel relaxed, calm, whole, at peace, joyful, and happy. You will feel as if you have been floating on air and your mindset will have changed drastically making you feel like you are on top of the world. 

You will likely have had revelations on what you need to work on and things you have not healed from in your past. Your stress will have dissipated and your energy will be on point. Get ready for your life to drastically change from that moment on!!

 

How I found Reiki Energy Healing

I will now share how Reiki Energy Healing came into my life. In late 2020 I received a random message from a random dude in my Facebook messenger inbox. Looking back now it’s pretty amazing to think how I almost NEVER respond to men via Facebook or really any social media platforms but, for some reason that day something (and I know now it was God) was pushing me to respond. And so, I did. 

My life changed that very day more than I ever thought possible. I fully believe I am the woman I am today due to that message, because Reiki has changed my life.

Once he started sharing what Reiki was and how it could change my life and heal me, I was in. You see I had been really struggling since my rape in college and the death of my son at nine weeks of age from significant depression, anxiety, overwhelming fear, PTSD, and my insomnia was so bad I was sleeping maybe 2-3 hours each night if that. 

Medication was not working as I had tried it all at this point and I had even been to what seems like a million psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists and nothing or no one was helping me overcome all of these debilitating illnesses. So, at this point, I was willing to give anything a shot.

Reiki has changed my life

Praise God I did!! Not only after several months of Reiki Sessions

    • I am sleeping like a baby getting 8-9 hours a sleep each and every night
    • My anxiety is under control
    • I am off my antidepressants
    • I have kicked my PTSD out the door
    • I feel like a brand-new woman
    • My confidence has increased like crazy

I have never felt braver, stronger, or more alive, more independent, more beautiful, and more stable in my entire life…all because of Reiki.

Reiki has also helped with my physical health. It helped with my weight loss, my headaches, my back pain, and even with the discomfort of my menstrual cycle.  

Mentally & Spiritually, I have worked through the loss of my son, my multiple miscarriages, my rape, my molestation, the abuse I endured in my first marriage, my painful divorce and because of my Reiki Energy Healing I am now about to celebrate TWO YEARS of my sobriety in a couple of months.

Which leads me into why I got certified to become a Sacred Usui/Holy Fire® Usui Reiki Master, Holy Fire® III Karuna® II Reiki Master which is the highest level you can achieve and be attuned to in the World. Actually, if I’m being really honest in sharing my heart…there are only a few hundred of us attuned to this Reiki Practitioner Level in the entire Universe. Pretty cool, I would say!! 

Reiki Saved My Life

The reason I wanted to get attuned to become a Reiki Master and to the highest level of Holy Fire® III Karuna® II was because Reiki Energy Healing not only changed my life, but also saved my life.

I had reached another point in my life last Fall where I did not want to continue any longer. My anxiety and depression had sky-rocketed and the lack of sleep I was getting was messing with my entire mind, body, and soul. I haven’t even told my husband, Jeff, this yet, but I had even contemplated suicide again. 

You see we  had just experienced an unexpected, out-of-left field military move yet again from D.C., my favorite duty station ever, to now Panama City Beach, FL and I was miserable. Not only had I thought about suicide again, but my cravings for alcohol had intensified hugely!! I knew if something did not change soon then I wasn’t going to make it.

I will repeat here…Praise the good Lord that Reiki entered my life right when it did!! 

Becoming attuned to being a Reiki Master was so important to me because I now know for a fact that God put me on this Earth to heal others, specifically women and fellow military wives/spouses and I wanted to make sure I was able to share and help change lives with something that changed and saved my life too…Reiki.  

My Clients Love Reiki Too

Being able to see my clients’ faces after they have received my Reiki after a few months brings so much joy to my life. On top of that, every single one of my clients who have received consistent Reiki Energy Healing for several months from me has said their life has drastically changed for the better too!! 

Here is some of the feedback my clients have shared:

They feel at peace

Full of joy and love

Able to get out of bed again with excitement each day

No longer suffering from anxiety, depression, PTSD and insomnia

Their confidence and SELF LOVE has sky-rocketed!!  

 

So, if you are genuinely ready to feel like you are enough, that you are beautiful, that you deserve love ON TOP OF overcoming your past, your fears, your heartaches and struggles and even lose weight and get rid of headaches then REACH OUT TO ME today!! 

I would love to help you achieve your dreams, no longer suffer from things from your past such as child loss, rape, molestation, abuse or even alcoholism or drug-use (I know that’s a bold statement, but if you know my story then proof is in the puddin’ my dear) AND to love your body completely, have mental clarity, and to feel like you are on top of the World!! 

Life is a gift so let’s do the darn thing and OWN IT, EMBRACE IT, and GROW TOGETHER!

How to develop healthy boundaries

How to develop healthy boundaries

Healthy boundaries are imperative in every business, volunteer venture, and relationship you have. 

Sadly, I learned first hand how much pain not having boundaries can create. It will pull you down and have a negative impact on you and your life. 

Not having boundaries has many negative effects. 

  • causes conflict within self and with others
  • lowers your self-esteem and confidence
  • makes you feel out of control and overwhelmed
  • causes confusion and lack of clarity of what actions to take
  • makes focus difficult making it difficult to achieve your goals 

I learned how painful it is to be a giver without boundaries.

I’m a people pleaser to the core. I love helping others and building relationships. I am a go-getter and the moment there is something to get done, I am on it like a moth to a flame. I hate to have things incomplete. 

This last year my lack of boundaries with my clients, my co-workers, my team, military spouse boards, and the support groups I facilitate came to a head. I learned that not having boundaries can leave you devastated and deeply hurt. Let me share two situations that happened to me.

I love my clients! I love them with all of my heart. But, when I launched my company; Spiritual Lighthouse Healing and Guidance, I was in for a rude awakening because I lacked clear boundaries with my team and clients.

Lack of boundaries negatively affected me personally as well as my marriage, and even the relationship with my children. 

 

When Spiritual Lighthouse Healing and Guidance first launched I was over the moon! I had worked so hard and been through so much pain to get to this moment; of turning my horrific story into a business. (you can read more about my story here) 

Obviously, I was very invested in the success of my company. I was working 24/7 and answering every email, phone call, text, and social media message I was receiving as soon as they appeared on my phone. morning, noon, and night. As you can guess, this need to please and my obsession to be there for everyone went very badly. 

It was exhausting and left no time or energy for my self-care, my children, my husband, or friendships.

But, it gets worse.

Most of my clients have either lost a child, been raped, molested, abused, are recovering alcoholics and/or drug users, and divorcees.

My clients have stories and testimonies from their childhood and teenage years that would bring you to your knees. The amount of mental, physical & sexual abuse and loss these women have suffered is tremendous. 

Hearing the stories of what they have endured shakes me to my core. Each time I take on a new client and hear their story my heart breaks. Sometimes I have to remind myself this is reality because it is so unbelievable and holding space for these women takes a ton of energy.

Before I take on a client and place them under my wing, I pray over them and meditate on their story to determine if they are a right fit for me, and that I can truly help heal them from the inside out. So when they become my client I care deeply for them and give them my undivided attention for as long as it takes to heal them.

STOP RIGHT HERE. Re-read what I just wrote. And then add to it that I am a TOTAL EMPATH. And I mean total, which is why creating healthy boundaries has become imperative to my work.

Let me now get to the point. In my first ever Healing Cocoon (virtual) Program I took on TWENTY-TWO women, at one time, under my wing.  Which means taking on twenty-two stories, twenty-two lives, and twenty-two families all at once; created a recipe for disaster. The first couple of weeks were so hard on me and my family because I had NO BOUNDARIES.

Giving without boundaries will be your demise

Praise the good Lord that just after two short weeks I had a rude awakening that something needed to change with my business and it needed to change IMMEDIATELY. I needed to add firm and clear boundaries that very day or this “Helping You Heal” business was going to drown me. 

Not only was I exhausting physical energy I was also emotionally low because as an empath I was taking on their pain. My family took the brunt of the consequences of my lack of boundaries and it was causing a major rift in my marriage, as well as my relationship with my children.

I came close to convincing myself that just taking one shot of alcohol wouldn’t harm a soul. Boy, was that a lie I was telling myself. Praise God I didn’t give in to the temptation and now I have beautiful boundaries set up in my program and with all of my clients. If they violate them, I immediately release them from my program and my one-on-one client care. It’s just not worth it to me.

Boundaries with his ex-wife

Example number two is my husband, Jeff’s, ex-wife. Enough said…as I’m sure you can already guess that this one has the potential to not end very pretty.

This lady has put me through hell and back. The pain she has caused me, my marriage, and my children and the stories I could tell you of the things she has done to us would shatter your heart and bring you to your knees. 

But, with that said, this has ironically also been one of the hardest boundaries I have ever had to set in my life because it all not only affects me, but it greatly also affects both my biological children and my bonus children.

It was necessary for my marriage, and to protect my own children, to work at creating boundaries with my husband’s ex-wife to protect us all. 

I set up a safe – space boundary and I blocked her on all social media

I refuse to let her impact my marriage no matter how hard she tries

I pray for her regularly

If I have to interact, I am calm and cordial as possible, refusing to let her see how much she ruffles my feathers which is her motivation.

I had to get my husband on board with creating boundaries and protecting mine as well, or we were going to have big time issues. 

I pray that after you read these two stories you will see the importance of setting boundaries and how those boundaries can protect you. 

Boundaries can be set ANYWHERE you need them in your life. 

Heck, I’ve even had to set a boundary with my own Mother and that’s perfectly OK.

YOU deserve a happy life! 

YOU deserve a safe life! 

YOU deserve respect from others to HONOR YOUR BOUNDARIES, my friend.

So do yourself the honor and create them! 

Guidelines to create boundaries

Boundaries should be set to ensure mentally, physical and emotional stability in your life.

  • Be considerate of who you share personal details with
  • Be thoughtful about how much of your story you share 
  • Be honest about your needs
  • Understand what you value and communicate them by how you live
  • Let your no be no, and your yes be yes. 
  • Stop saying yes immediately, tell them you will think about it
  • Know your own limits and what you won’t tolerate
  • Separate yourself from people who will not honor your boundary
  • Asserting boundaries my make others uncomfortable and that is ok
  • Ask for permission to ask personal questions
  • Have self respect, others will never respect you more than you respect yourself

Communicate and share your boundaries

  • Communicate verbally what your boundaries are
  • Immediately reiterate you boundaries (politely) when they are violated
  • Uphold boundaries for yourself that you expect others to abide by
  • Let people know when something makes you uncomfortable
  • You don’t need to apologize when you have to say no
  • Start with what is most important to your well being
  • Set boundaries early on when you meet new people
  • Be consistent 

Setting boundaries you will live a much happier, healthier, and fruitful life!!

 

Controlling Anxiety

Controlling Anxiety

How I Control My Anxiety

Many people who have suffered trauma such as abuse, rape, and child loss will experience anxiety.

The emotional trauma brought on by these terrible experiences can impair ones ability to successfully handle emotions, how you feel about yourself and how you relate to others.

Most people think they need to suck it up and stop “overreacting” but for those of us who suffer we know it is not that simple.

I want to share 3 unexpected ways to control your anxiety, but first I want to tell you how anxiety used to control me and how I began to overcome it. 

Anxiety has always been a real struggle for me.

I can remember as a young child almost always being anxious. This may be in part my personality or childhood wounds, But what really put me over the edge was my anxiety after my rape in college.

I immediately ran to drugs and alcohol to escape my emotional pain after being raped by a group of fraternity brothers, which almost immediately put me into a drug induced psychosis.

I had to be removed and even pulled out of school during my sophomore year because my anxiety had taken over and I had become suicidal because of it. I also had to be put on multiple medications.

My anxiety never truly went away, even with being on medication and seeing a therapist on a weekly basis, until I fully faced and healed emotionally from my past.

I guess it’s because I was constantly being triggered. Whether it was from my rape, or losing my son, or even being abused in my first marriage.

Being a raging alcoholic, as well as having to move every eighteen months with the military (I’m a military spouse) and starting over didn’t help much either.

Sometime my anxiety would take over when I was doing very simple, everyday things like going into the children’s elementary school to check them out for the day, or meeting fellow military spouses for coffee, or even walking into church.

Driving used to be the absolute worst. It’s crazy to think about it because those silly things which are so simple to most people would cause me severe anxiety.

I remember my chest would get super tight. My heart would start to race. I couldn’t catch my breath any longer. It felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. Sometimes I would just start sweating and shaking. It was scary. And the sad thing was I couldn’t stop it. 

Anxiety made it difficult for me to even get out of bed in the morning.

It affected my marriage, my other relationships, and it even made it difficult to be a good mother at times.

It controlled my life. In the past how I dealt with my anxiety was to just cancel my plans, or ask my husband to do it, or  just excuse myself to the bathroom so no one would witness my panic.

But, other times when I couldn’t escape and I had to take care of life, it would bring me to my knees and cause me to burst out in tears.

My anxiety was controlling every move I made.

But, I will never forget the moment I stopped allowing my anxiety to take over my life.

Remember that fall I had? The one where my husband found me at the bottom of two flights of stairs on Infant Loss and Miscarriage Awareness Day and he thought I was dead?

Well, that was the day that my life forever changed and I was forced to look at myself in the mirror and to get the help I needed to work on my past and all of the heartache I had endured that was causing me enormous pain and anxiety.

You can read more on that story here

I  also stopped drinking which had a huge effect on my anxiety. Almost immediately after I stopped self soothing with alcohol and stayed sober,  I began grieving the loss of my son who had passed years before and my anxious heart started dissipating,

I had to stop running from my emotional pain. I had to face it and allow my feelings to be felt. Once I began to reveal my pain, l let myself feeI it and cope with it, and then almost immediately I began to truly heal.

After my fall and choosing to feel my emotions instead of numbing them, I became a new woman.

Rather than being scared and anxious. I was now an anxiety-free, strong, brave, and passionate woman. Best of all I was also now a loving wife, mother and friend. 

All it took was to give myself grace and learn to face and walk along side of my pain instead of running from it.

Anxiety doesn’t just go away!

Your anxiety will not just go away overnight, because you literally have to retrain your brain by admitting it’s a problem, then be willing and ready to heal, and finally you have to stop hiding and ask for the help.

If this sounds like you, and you are ready to live an anxiety-free life, then I am ready to hold your hand and guide you into becoming a confident, healed, no longer anxious, beautiful, transformed woman that you want to be, and are capable of becoming!!!!

I have created a program called Healing Cocoon to help you reveal, feel and heal your emotional pain so you can be happy again. Check out the details here

A lot has changed since my fall.

I rarely experience anxiety anymore because of Reiki Energy Healing. It was so effective I became a certified Reiki Master. You can book a Reiki session with me  here. 

As soon as I feel anxiety coming on. I immediately stop what I am doing, take three deep breaths, and repeat over and over, “You are enough. You can do this. You are stronger than this” and almost instantly my anxiety subsides. 

Other things I do is:

  • Take a walk around the block
  • Put on calming music
  • Watch the sunset and ground myself
  • Turn on a mindless TV show (even better if it makes you laugh)

All these seem to work perfectly for me each and every time.

3 unexpected ways regain control when you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious

  1. Write it out
  2. Do a mindless task 
  3. Lean into your discomfort 

Write it out

Anxiety and overwhelm can both be decreased if you take the time to do a mind dump.  This can be done in a journal, the notes on your phone, or paper. There aren’t any rules just let it all out. Every thing that comes to mind. The reason you have anxiety is your body wants you to deal with your pain. Let it out!

Do a mindless task

Do a habitual task like dishes, shower, or fold laundry. When you do habitual tasks it enables your brain to relax and allows you to take the time to process your emotions.  Ask yourself what you need, and when the answer comes, know that you are worthy of receiving all of it. 

Lean in to your discomfort

The tendency is to avoid discomfort and let the pain chase you around. Practice allowing yourself to feel the discomfort. Sit with it and curiously ask yourself what you need to feel peaceful. Allow yourself to feel, so you can heal. 

If you have trauma and emotional pain and you are ready to heal check out healing cocoon. You are not alone and I would be honored to support your healing journey. 

This is what Katrina one of my Healing Cocoon students had to say about healing cocoon after her first week. “I got the first lesson done and it made me feel like I can heal”

Rebuilding Your Confidence After Trauma

Rebuilding Your Confidence After Trauma

I want to share with you the steps I took to rebuild my confidence after the trauma of abuse, rape, and losing my first-born child to SIDS. 

Confidence is a crazy thing. It takes forever to build it and then it can be shattered in a matter of minutes. When I was a young child, my dad would always tell me the importance of confidence. That confidence can pave the way for your success in life. That true confidence can bring you financial security, as well as emotional security. Being that I believed and trusted my father, I have been working on building my confidence since I was a little girl.

When it was time to go off to college, I thought not only had I built myself into a strong, confident woman, but I had also convinced myself that nothing or no one could ever steal my confidence away from me. I was ambitious. I had big plans and nothing would stand in my way (or so I thought).

Confidence Shattered

Sadly, all the confidence I had worked so hard to build up in myself as a child, was shattered the night I was gang raped and my virginity was stolen from me my freshmen year of college at Florida State University.

That night my esteem and the confident and vibrant girl I had been was obliterated. After my rape, I reverted back into a scared little girl. I didn’t want to tell anyone what had happened to me that horrific night because I thought deep down that the rape was all my fault. I had even convinced myself that I deserved to be raped by those fraternity brothers because I had been wearing a tight, little black skirt while drinking heavily with several of my sorority sisters that very evening.

When I finally built up the confidence and courage to share what had happened to me at that fraternity brother’s apartment, no one believed me at first. Maybe some still don’t.

I wish it wasn’t my truth but I share it openly now  because I need you to know that if you have experienced this sort of horror. It’s not your fault and you did not deserve it, and it is possible to heal the emotional pain it has caused you. I am living proof. 

That sexual assault certainly impacted me negatively on multiple levels but at the time I chose to pick up the pieces of me that were shattered by this horrific act and move forward. Time passed and I slowly began building up my confidence again. I graduated college, went off to grad school, and even landed an amazing job right after I received my graduate degree.

Not long after that I met the man who I thought, at the time, was the true love of my life. That man and I went on to get married and have a little boy together. But our life was about to be shook, merely nine weeks after our son Samuel was born I found him lifeless in his crib. My life changed for the worst that very day. 

Once again another trauma shattered all of my confidence I had worked so hard to rebuild.

However, this time was much worse. I didn’t even want to live anymore after Samuel’s death. All I could think about, night and day, was how am I ever going to survive the death of my son. Rebuilding my confidence was the last damn thing on my mind but I knew I needed it to rise up from the pit I was in.

I needed the confidence to redefine who I was now that Samuel was gone. 

I needed the confidence to keep going when the pain of life without my son made the future blurry and it hurt to go on without him.

I needed the confidence to let go of what was and embrace what was to be. It would be different but I had a small hope deep down that I could be ok again.

In time I began to heal from the loss of my child. The steps I took are laid out in this blog post on reaching rock bottom and I have also created a program called healing cocoon to help others heal and find happiness faster than it took me.

I was bound and determined to rebuild me confidence yet again. However, sadly, this time the confidence I had built after the loss of my son was short lived.

My husband at the time, the one I lost my baby boy with, went straight towards drugs and alcohol to self soothe his pain after our son’s death, and became quite abusive towards me.

Check out my blog on soothing pain in a healthy way here 

Fear of the unknown kept me in a bad situation for too long.

Looking back, all the red flags and signs were there and I should have divorced him the first time he got physical with me, but I didn’t. I got into my head, yet again, and lured myself into believing that I deserved all the abuse I was receiving from him. Most of the abuse was emotional, mental, and psychological which was honestly far worse than the physical abuse I endured during our marriage. 

At this point, I was lost. I had reached my breaking point. I didn’t want to live anymore and all I wanted to do was to commit suicide. I felt like a worthless mother, wife, and friend. My confidence was gone and I felt at this point it was never coming back.

I no longer accepted who I was because I had shame about all of the terrible things that had happened to me. I had these two beautiful children that I loved with all of my heart but my esteem was so low and my self love was non existent. I had become a shell of a person going through the motions.

I didn’t know how to face the future anymore as I could hardly get out of bed or survive through the day. I had reverted back to being a scared, little, helpless girl and this was not who I wanted to be. There was the me I wanted to be trapped inside screaming and praying for things to change.

A few months later, shocked and in total disbelief, I found out I was pregnant yet again. I knew something needed to change, and it needed to change immediately.

And, boy, did it.

Just a couple of nights later, merely just days after finding out I was going to have another baby, I walked in on my now ex-husband with a rolled twenty-dollar bill, snorting cocaine off the bathroom vanity, while our two-year-old daughter was in the bathtub.

I was done. Enough was enough.

I had reached my rock bottom and I was done tolerating a life with him.  I made a decision in that moment that I was no longer going to put up with his mistreatment and abuse

Nor could I continue to expose my children to this mess. I had taken the abuse because my confidence and self respect was completely shattered, but they deserved better. I deserved better too!

I no longer felt safe so I grabbed my baby, Lillian, out of the tub and called the cops that very moment. He was arrested that night and I filed for divorce the very next day.

Almost immediately my confidence started to improve. I felt like a brave and strong momma because even though I was four months pregnant, with two toddlers at my feet, and I realized the moment I left I was going to be single mommin’ it quite possibly for a lifetime. It didn’t scare me. I knew with God by my side, I could do it.

My confidence began to sky-rocket.

I had hope for the future again.

I felt capable of managing whatever life threw at me.

I knew that no matter what, God had me held and had incredible plans for me. 

I share all of this with you to show you that you can go through tremendous pain and heartache throughout your life, and your confidence completely shattered and stolen from you a million times over, and still find a way to rebuild your confidence, your self-worth, and your ability to love life like you have never loved it before.

It is never too late to feel like a confident, brave, independent woman that the good Lord created you to be.

As you can see, my sweet friend, I have had some terrible things happen to me throughout my lifetime thus far and more than likely you have too. But, I promise you, that together we can rebuild our confidence exactly where we want it to be.

Rebuilding Your Confidence After Trauma.

I have made a simple list of what it takes to rebuild your confidence based on what I had to do to get where I am today.

First of all

1.  Let go of the past and control your present. 

Remember how I told you after my rape I had to CHOOSE to move forward? Nothing could change the fact that I had indeed been gang raped, but I had full control over what you chose to do next. And for me I chose to move forward and rebuild my confidence to be the strong, independent, and brave woman I desired to be.

2. Stop tolerating a life that is less than you deserve.

You do have a choice. You don’t have to let people treat you badly. Don’t wait until you’ve reached “the last straw” to assess your life. And if the people around you are tearing you down it is perfectly ok to put up a boundary and stop the abuse.

3. Have faith that you will be ok. 

I was pregnant with two toddlers and it was scary to leave my husband at the time, but I had to trust that God had a plan for me that was better than this. AND HE DID!

He sent my husband of over 8 years to me while I was still pregnant with my ex husbands child and I have more blessings than I can count because I rebuilt my confidence and got the support I needed to heal. 

If you know you need to heal emotionally from abuse, rape or loss I would love to support your healing journey in my Healing Cocoon program.

healing cocoon a place to heal from the trauma of abuse, rape and loss to feel happy again

Also, if you are looking for a group of amazing and supportive women join Nicole’s Angels, my free Facebook group, where I give tips, encouragement and resources to feel fully alive and live your best life. 

Heal and be happy, 

Nicole Gebhardt

Benefits Of A Morning Routine And Why You Need One

Benefits Of A Morning Routine And Why You Need One

Creating a morning routine helps me with starting my day off in the right direction.

The stress of getting the kids ready for school and out the door in the morning can be a trigger for me and sets the tone for a day in survival mode.

I am sure you can relate to those days that you drag yourself out of bed after a snooze (or two), with no time for a peaceful cup of coffee you head straight into Mom mode. Cue the whining, arguing, frustrations and panic as the clock ticks faster than you can pull it all together.

That is why my sweet friend I want to share this magic little solution of implementing a morning routine into your life. 

Benefits of a morning routine

A Solid Morning Routine Helps Me To:

Focus

Minimize Stress

Feel Confident

Increase My Motivation

Be Less Forgetful

Maintain Control Over My Emotions And Feelings

Feel More Alive 

Live Life To The Fullest

A solid morning routine helps me keep my mind clear and focused so I can stay on task throughout the day. Since I have learned and disciplined myself to buffer in a little “me” time first thing in the morning I give myself a few minutes to visualize and plan out the day before me. 

Doing this simple thing and sacrificing just a small amount of sleep has huge benefits. It minimizes my stress level and helps me feel more confident in the choices I am making for myself and my family, it increases my motivation and energy level because I am less forgetful and feel more in control of my emotions, feelings, and thoughts.

Implementing a solid morning routine has even helped hugely in my relationships with both my husband and my children because I feel more excited, alive, and beautiful when I have a good morning routine in place.

In all honesty, having a thriving morning routine makes me look forward to getting out of bed each and every day and it even helps me to live life to the utmost fullest. It’s a secret sauce to living my best life. 

It wasn’t always this way!

I feel called to share with you what caused me to learn the true benefits of having a morning routine in place.

I will never forget that dreadful Monday morning during one of my husband’s lengthy deployments, while we were still stationed in Savannah and part of the 165th Airlift Wing. We had a preschooler and two toddlers in the home. I remember waking up that morning and feeling so overwhelmed and lost. I was honestly pretty miserable.

The children were all at an age where they needed me almost every second of every day and I was down-right exhausted trying to not only tend to them, but while also trying to maintain a functioning home all on my own while their daddy was deployed overseas.

I quickly reached a breaking point and remember having the thoughts that if I did not gain control of my day soon I was going to start drinking again due to feeling so overwhelmed, lost, and alone.

I sure wish I had listened to my heart, soul, and my mind that day because I quickly became dependent on alcohol yet again.  The last season of alcoholism began the day I found my son, Samuel, lifeless in his crib at the tender age of 9 weeks old, and it didn’t end until the day I found out I was pregnant with my rainbow baby. 

Thankfully, I had a dear friend who was on the leadership board for Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) with me, at our church in Savannah, who called me straight out. She immediately encouraged me to put down the bottle and get help. This time I listened, and that very day I made an appointment to start seeing a therapist.

Some of the greatest advice I received after sharing with my therapist, was to implement a morning routine for my family immediately.

I took the advice and I activated a morning routine right away.  Boy did it change my life and in a way, saved my life too.

Here is exactly what I did that made a huge shift toward living my best life. 

    1. I started waking up at the same time each and every morning no matter what.
    2. I would do my quiet time with the Lord
    3. Reflect on the previous day and think about what I could do better
    4. I started working out
    5. Took a shower before the children were even out of bed.

I want to be real with you. Yes, it meant waking up a couple of hours before them, but the benefits of having a healthy morning routine in place made it so worth it.

I even ended up losing a significant amount of weight too!!

As I share this with you, it reminds me of how far I have come by simply implementing a morning routine. As I mentioned above, I now feel more beautiful, healthier, rested, energized and even more ready to take on whatever the new day has to throw at me.

My children and husband have reaped the benefits as well. So, TODAY, I encourage you to go ahead and create a morning routine for your family as well. I promise you will not regret it!!